note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
this post hit home, like so many of your other posts. Especially recently, I have struggled with accepting who I am. I always want to be someone else, I want to be thinner, I wish I didn't have those blemishes on my face, I wish I had more colour in my cheeks, I wish I didn't have such a round face, the list goes on and on. But I've started realizing that I need to be me. There will never be another Laura just like me, so I need to stop trying to be someone else and be ME.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
~Half-Pint