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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Of all places...

Here is a story I wrote for a Writing Challenge not too long ago. We were supposed to base a short story off of the sentence; "Oh my goodness! What are you doing here?"

So, here is my version of the story. I couldn't think of a title for it~ Any suggestions??


"Mom!" I heard my little sister Anne shriek. "Peanut's gone!"

"Oh, dear!" Mom said, and I heard her walk over into Anne's room, next door.

I stepped out into the hall to see what the commotion was all about.

"Oh, Joshy!" Anne cried. Her face was pale and her eyes wide. "You have to help us find Peanut!"

She pulled me by the hand into her room, where there were tell-tale signs of the crisis at hand. The large cage on Anne's dresser, which normally held her hyper hamster, was empty, with the door wide open.

Anne started crying again at the sight of it.

"Don't worry, dear. I'm sure we'll find him. When did you notice he was missing?" Mom said, trying to comfort Anne.

"Just now," Anne sniffled.

"Well, he can't have gone far. We'll find him soon," Mom reassured her. "Let's all look for him. Anne, you check under the bed, and Josh and I will look too."

I stood thoughtfully trying to imagine where I would be most comfortable if I was a hamster.

Then I had it. "Have you checked Anne's dresser drawers yet, Mom?"

Mom's eyes brightened too. "I haven't, but great idea, Josh." She opened the drawers and began to throw things out carelessly.

I decided to check in Anne's sock drawer. I was sure that if I was a small, fluffy rodent like Peanut that I would like to have a sock for a home. Unfortunately, Peanut wasn't there.

We searched through Anne's whole room. A long while later, nothing had changed, except that Anne's room had collected a great big mess.

It was soon bedtime, and there was still no trace of Peanut. Anne was devastated, and I could hear her upset sobs all the way from my room across the hall.

I wondered where Peanut was, and if he was safe. As much as Peanut irritated me sometimes, I still did like him. I wondered if he was warm on this cold winter night.

It is really cold, I thought, and tiptoed over to my sock drawer, to grab a pair of socks for my chilly feet.

When I opened it, I began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Oh my goodness! What are YOU doing here?"

Right among my socks, sat Peanut, looking bright-eyed and completely innocent.

"Mom! I found Peanut!" I shouted, crossing over to Anne's room. We (meaning Peanut and I) were greeted by exclamations of joy and astonishment.

"Peanut!" shrieked Anne, seizing him from me.

"Wherever did you find him?" Mom asked incredulously.

"In my sock drawer," I replied as seriously as I could.

"In your sock drawer?" Anne questioned.

"In your SOCK drawer?!!" Mom repeated. "How'd he ever get there?"

I shrugged and laughed. "Maybe he just got cold."


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  1. Kylie~

    Really cute template! Great story too! I can't wait to read more!



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