Skip to main content


note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Keep Moving Forward ➵ Onward Into 2018

Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. 

- Walt Disney

I'm not usually one for new year's resolutions. At the end of the year, I find myself disappointed by the fact that I didn't keep up with what I said I was going to do. However, this year I find myself wanting to make some goals that I can try to uphold throughout 2018. I know I'll probably fail off and on throughout the year, but I wanted to write them down here so I could look back on them at the end of 2018 and see how I grew (both from this list and beyond it).

Read more Read again

In 2015 and 2016, I rediscovered my love of reading, but during 2017, I kind of lost that joy and spark that caused me to devour page upon page of every book I could get my hands on. This year, I want to rediscover that love. It's not really so much the amount that I read, just that I do read this year.

Write again

In the last half of 2017, I lost all drive to write any articles. I took a month or so off from The Fangirl Initiative (and basically everything else), which helped a lot. But I've also had a serious decline in writing fiction. I wasn't able to participate in 2017's NaNoWriMo, which was ultimately a good decision, but really sad for me. I don't remember the last time I wrote any of my novels (that stuck, anyway), and I've lost the joy of writing. I don't know what it will take to get it back, but I hope I do. In addition to fiction writing, I would like to continue writing better content for TFI, start writing for Libero, and hopefully pitch to additional sites. I want to start treating my writing seriously again.

Pour my heart into The Fangirl Initiative

The Fangirl Initiative, the site I run for pop culture, is my passion project. Over the course of 2017, I had let it take second place to everything else in my life. This year, I want to continue to make it a priority for me to focus on doing what I love, which includes TFI. It's my goal to continue to foster a place for nerds of all kinds, cultivate more of what makes TFI great already, and do whatever I can to make it the best site it can be.

Make monthly playlists

In 2014, I started making monthly playlists based on whatever songs I was listening to a lot at the time. Looking back, it's so amazing to have a snapshot of that time of my life in music. I somehow fell out of the habit, so this year I want to make monthly playlists again so that I can have something to look back on for 2018.

Post more on Instagram

This goes hand-in-hand with making monthly playlists. Instagram is kind of like a visual diary of my life for me, but somewhere along the line I got caught up in making sure every post is perfect. Because of that, I hardly have any posts for 2017, which makes me really sad. I want to start posting on my Instagram more again in 2018 so that I can have more of a visual representation of what 2018 was like along with an audio representation with the playlists.

Become more assertive

I often find myself falling into the pattern of being a pushover. If someone asks me if I have a preference on something, I'll say I don't even if I do. I want to work on speaking up when I have something to say.

Define myself

I tend to define myself solely by what others see, say, and think. I want to become more independent as a person and define myself apart from what others' opinions are and realize that who I am doesn't have to depend on other people.

Be more gentle with myself.

I tend to beat myself up over... well, everything. If I don't complete a goal, if I don't do something right, if I slack on something. I need to remember that it's okay to have off days, it's okay to be exactly where you're at. It's my goal to practice what I preach about self care, self love, and taking care of yourself.

Be good to myself. 

This past year of 2017 has been a hard one. This year I want to focus on giving more of what's good to me--good friends, good relationships, good music, good food, good stories... a good life. Even if the circumstances around me are hard, I can still make the environment around me a positive, uplifting place. I can still make sure I'm nurturing myself and taking care of myself in the best way I know how.

Here's to another year of growth.

What are your goals for 2018?


  1. I haven't made any yet, but seeing yours is motivating!

  2. I hope 2018 is a brighter year for me! I also need to learn to be gentler to myself. It's a tough thing to do!


Post a Comment

Comments make the world go 'round... or was that chocolate?

Thank you for stopping by! I read every single comment and love them all. Seriously, it makes my day. I do my best to comment back!

My only rule is basic respect and honor. Disagreement is accepted, but hate and trolling is not. Otherwise, say what you need to say, and have fun. And don't forget to grab a free complimentary mint on your way out.

Popular Posts