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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

What I Read: October

October is over, and 2016 is almost over too, which is really wild to think about. But for now, here's what I read this past month!

Gilt Hollow by Lorie Langdon

You can read my full review here, but to sum it up: definitely a really good read, especially with the autumn and spooky vibes that this book evokes.

Book in a gif:

Slammed by Colleen Hoover

It's hard to find the words to sum up how much I loved this book. Colleen Hoover doesn't disappoint, and Slammed is easily one of my favorite books.

Book in a gif:

Point of Retreat by Colleen Hoover

The sequel to Slammed, Point of Retreat was just as enthralling and heartbreaking and amazing as its predecessor. I loved it.

Book in a gif:

Unwind by Neal Shusterman

This book was the worst but in the best way. Nauseating but compelling. Horrifying but amazing. I think you get the idea.

(No gif because how do you even sum this book up?!)

The Walls Around Us by Nova Ren Suma

Um. What. I still don't understand this book fully, but it was PERFECT. I'm not kidding. One of the best, most-mind-blowing books I've read this year.

Book in a gif:

Every Last Word by Tamara Ireland Stone

I had a few issues with this book's portrayal of mental illness, but I did really like the characters. Caroline wins the book for me.

Book in a gif:

The Thousandth Floor by Katharine McGee

I'm so sad about this one because the cover was gorgeous. I so wanted to like it, but this book was just not for me.

Here's how I feel about that:

The Reader by M.K. Harkins

This book was super intriguing. While I found the writing and characters a bit off at times, the premise was really interesting and kept me involved in the book.

Book in a gif:

The Dress by Kate Kerrigan

This book was so good, and I'm still thinking about it. I think it's one that will stick around in my subconscious for some time. Read my full review here.

Book in a gif:
(I mean, the Dress wasn't made by Cinna, but it COULD HAVE BEEN.)

Finding Libbie by Deanna Lynn Sletten

This was a sweetly written story. It took me a while to get into, but by 40% I was hooked. It was a really interesting love story wich plenty of obstacles and heartbreak. But it ended so beautifully. Yay happy endings!

Book in a gif:

The Lost & Found by Katrina Leno

This was one highly-anticipated read for me, and it did not disappoint. It portrays internet friendships so well, and the quirky characters are just a major bonus. Though we didn't get as many answers as I would have liked, and the ending was a bit ambiguous, I am still so glad I read this one.

Book in a gif:
Look, I know this gif choice is out there, but this book was SO SWEET, and what better to convey that than Zac Efron with whiskers?

What was your favorite book you read in October?

Many thanks to Netgalley for providing me with the copies of The Reader, The Dress, and Finding Libbie.


  1. Bahahah! The gif of Zac Efron with whiskers is hilarious. I enjoy reading these. The book in a gif thing is perfect. :)

  2. YES THE WALLS AROUND US. That's such a beautiful book <3
    My favorite book I read this month is probably The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater :D

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality


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