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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

What I’ve Been Up to Lately

Last year, I would do monthly recaps. I had every valiant intention of continuing them into 2015, but here it is July August and I haven't even touched one. Alas.

So because I've been out of commission and I'm back to regular blogging again, here's what I've been up to, in one general recap.


1.) I graduated high school!

Due to my health issues it's been a long road to the finish line, but I finally made it and I'm so excited to finally be done. We had a very small party on a lake and it was lovely. And in case you're wondering, I have no idea what to do with my life.

2.) I explored the world of emergency veterinarians.

My cat, Tuxedo, whom I consider one of my best friends, got sick a month ago and we took him into the emergency pet hospital. He ended up staying for almost a week, and his diagnosis was kidney disease. He's getting older and so his time will eventually come, but until then we keep him comfortable with IV fluids. We've gotten quite adept at learning how to administer them, and I know how to change out a pet needle.

3.) I dyed my hair.

Dying my hair red has been on my list for a long, long time. On July 9th, I did a hair glaze that added a red tone to my hair. I love it.

4.) I have been babysitting.

Babysitting a lot.


I've been working, as always, on The Fangirl Initiative. I'm posting there on Wednesdays now, so keep an eye out for that! Recently I talked about my guilty pleasure: sitcoms and my not-so-guilty pleasure: fictional BFFs. As of this week, I'll be doing Daredevil recaps every other Wednesday, so that's awesome too! Here's my first one. Matt Murdock is my baby! All the fangirl tears!

I've also joined a new blog project titled the Young Writers' Treehouse! It started out as a bunch of excited messages and it was so exciting to see the project build from the ground up. There are so many awesome people involved and I love the team I'm working with. It's my passion to help young writers and this is just the place to do it! You can view my first post on deepening your characters here. I'll also be posting tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that!

As for this blog... um. Until recently, it's mostly been Beautiful People. Sorry, not sorry?


As you know, I finished Because I'm Irish and Petrichor. (!!!) I'm still in disbelief that it happened.

A month or two ago, I took a brief jaunt into attempting to write my novel Evanescent Fireworks, but my character was turning out too bitter. The answer? Write my character with a slightly cynical voice, Fiona--the protagonist of Because I'm Irish. Evanescent Fireworks was put on hold, but I did finish BCII, so... yay?

Now I'm working on The Angel Novel, my third attempt to actually write it, and it's going well at about 22k. In the background I'm also thinking of ways to rework my second draft of Lost Girls (which includes unintentionally coming up with ways to make it more painful). I'm also thinking about how to write Lost Girls' sequel, Cracking Glass, and its spin-off, Metal and Bone (probably my NaNo '15 novel). Other than that, I'm pinning a lot and silently plotting new novels. Muahaha. You can find out more about all these random projects on my novels page. I'm also co-writing with a friend again, which has been awesome.


music: I used a gift card to purchase Fall Out Boy's American Beauty/American Psycho, as well as American Authors' Oh, What a Life. I also impulse bought Honey I'm Good by Andy Grammer last night because I'm in LOVE with that song. I also have fallen in love with Walk the Moon. I retain my love for the band Bleachers and AWOLNATION'S song, Sail. (Which I listen to on repeat...)

tv: I finished all of The Walking Dead and I LITERALLY cannot express how much I love that show.

I also watched all of Bob's Burgers (except season 5) and laughed so hard at almost every episode. I still need to finish Daredevil, which I will now be doing in order to recap it for The Fangirl Initiative. Also... I'm watching The Office now and it is hilarious. Top FUNNIEST episodes? "The Injury," and the one about the Bird Funeral. What's your favorite Office episode?

movies: finally saw Divergent! It was a great movie, honestly. I also watched The Spectacular Now and have many mixed feelings on it.

books: I'm doing the Summer Reading Mission at The Fangirl Initiative, and I'm only one book into the challenge with one month left. Oops? I need to get on it! I'm currently reading Cinder. Also, feel free to add me on Goodreads and join the Summer Reading Mission, too. #shamelessplug

in conclusion

It's been a busy summer, but a good one. Writing has picked up again, so has reading, and so has blogging. I'm content. And I want to know...

What's up with you? What have you been up to? What are you watching on TV? What are you writing? Any new characters? How's life?

Just kidding, I love you guys.
OKAY ALSO PSA I HAVE A DOMAIN NOW!!! I've been wanting to do this for the 9 years I've had this blog, and finally tonight I impulsively decided to just do it. I'm now located at And I'm very happy about it. *insert smirking emoji here*


  1. Congrats on making it through highschool! Can't wait to see where you take your blog!

    P.S. I'm also in love with the Honey, I'm Good song.

    1. Thanks so much, Sunny! I know, right?! Isn't it wonderful? I smile every time I hear it, and it gets stuck in my head so easily. It's the kind of song I didn't know I needed in my life, and now that I have it, I love it. Thanks for stopping by! :D

  2. yay for graduating despite health bumps in the road! Been there, done that, and I'm super happy for you! Fall Out Boy is life, and the Spectacular Now was my first R-rated movie I watched this summer. You have good taste. ;)

    1. Ely, I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one who graduated despite health issues. Thanks for the encouragement!

      I adore FOB. The Spectacular Now was actually really good, I enjoyed a lot of scenes in it. It was very REAL. What did you think of it?

      Oh, you have extremely good taste too. ;) Thank you SO much for the compliment and the blog comment!! <333

    2. well, I watched the Spectacular Now on a recommendation from my best friend. His words were: "It makes me think and get a little depressed about life, but in a good way." And that's basically how I felt about it in a nutshell. The romance side of life wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but the way that Sutter questioned whether it was worth it being an adult and all that resonated within me. It definitely raised a sleepless night filled with pondering what I wanted in life. :)

  3. Wow lots of happenings going on with you! Congrats on all of the accomplishments! I loved Daredevil! So much better than the movie haha. I've heard many good things about the Walking Dead, but I'm so worried about the gore. How do you handle it? I have a cousin who actually is one of the CGI designers for the show and he loves to talk about it on holidays. XD

    1. Yes, it's been busy! Thanks so much! Daredevil is soooo good. I adore it! I never saw the movie, but I'm glad to hear the TV show is better. ;)

      I was really concerned about the gore on The Walking Dead for a long time. It is pretty intense, I will tell you that. A lot of times I would just look away if it got to be too much for me. There's a ton of really gross stuff that happens, and sometimes it breaks your heart, but ultimately the characters are so wonderful and I'm in love with their storylines. So while it's gory, it's the characters that really sold me on the show and kept me watching. I hope that helps! If you have any specific questions on what kind of gore happens, feel free to email me. :) Also, that is SO COOL ABOUT YOUR COUSIN!!! EEK! The CGI people on that show do great work. ;) Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by!!

  4. Welcome to the blogosphere! It looks like you're off to a fantastic start. The aesthetic of your blog is beautiful and on point. I'll be following for sure! Thanks for stopping by! ♥


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