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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Beautiful Couples: Jem and Cooper

I'm finally here to participate in the Valentine's Day version of Beautiful People! Today I'm featuring Cooper and Jem from my NaNo novel Lost Girls. You can find out more about that book here.

Jem is my main character, with a rare spinal condition and yet a sharp, scientific mind. Cooper is a quieter, sensitive forensic analyst. I love them.

Just, uh, ignore the beard, okay?

1. How long have they been a couple? 
Only a few days. They finally fessed up to their feelings about each other.

2. How did they first meet? 
At work, but they live next to each other as well.

3. What were their first thoughts of each other? (Love at first sight or “you’re freakishly annoying”?)
Jem thought Cooper's style was clean cut, Cooper was instantly attracted to the new intern.

4. What do they do that most annoys each other? 
Both of them are annoyed by their inabilities to express their emotions.

5. Are their personalities opposite or similar?
Both, in different ways. They both share a love of science and logic, but Cooper is far more emotional about it than Jem is.

6. How would their lives be different without each other?
Cooper's life would be an endless cycle of work. Jem wouldn't know how to feel emotions.

7. Are they ever embarrassed of each other?
When they go into nerdy rant sessions about science, maybe. But they secretly find it adorable. They haven't been a couple long enough yet to figure out what annoys them about each other.

8. Does anyone disapprove of their relationship?
Their boss probably would, if she knew about it.

9. Do they see their relationship as long-term/leading to marriage?
Cooper, yes. Jem isn't sure. Her number one commitment is to her work. If marriage manages to fit within her plans, then so be it.

10. If they could plan the “perfect outing” together, where would they go?
To the Santa Monica pier at sunset, where they'd stroll around hand-in-hand.


  1. Jem and Cooper sound like the perfect romantic couple with a dash of science (and all things brilliant I presume)!


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