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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

She Returns, Alive

I know, I know. No post in 12 days. I'm ridiculous.

For some reason, December has been 10 times more busy than usual. I also keep meaning to put up my Beautiful Books post, but I can't decide on a main image to use. (I could never run a viral movie marketing campaign.) I also can't decide what my favorite line from that book is. (Again, I could never run a viral movie marketing campaign.)

So what exactly have I been doing, besides not writing my Lost Girls Beautiful Books post?

1. I have been working on Grafted Magazine. My end-of-year thoughts are in the pages of Issue 4--check it out!

2. I have been (trying) to rewrite Because I'm Irish, even though I'm currently at a wordcount standstill. The current goal is January 15th, 2015. We'll see how that goes.

3. I have been busy running The Fangirl Initiative. I love it. Being in the leadership position of a group project like this has been awesome. But for the record, I can't imagine running something bigger, like a super-secret-police-organization. I admire you, Fury and Coulson.

4. I have been taking a college course on the Psychology of Criminal Justice. The only problem is, it was an 8 week course and due to it being archived, I had to finish it in three days. Challenge accepted and completed. I finished it today and my brain is done. I loved it, but I will also not be attempting another bit of school for at least two weeks. (Sorry, Mom.) Hello, holidays! My first college class and this is the result. I'm an overachiever.

5. I have been babysitting a lot. My mom runs a home daycare and due to this we always have little ones around. There's one who is my little buddy and he's moving away this week. :(

6. I have been watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and crying over the mid-season finale. (And starting The 100.)

7. I have begun my addiction to Pentatonix and other a capella bands like Peter Hollens. I had knowledge of them before this, but now it's baaad. 

8. I have been eating yummy food, like potato chips as a treat. Well, that's just right now.

What's up with you guys? Hopefully, I'll be back to posting like normal soon. Unless I'm abducted by aliens, which could happen. And if I don't see you before Christmas, I hope you all have a peaceful holiday season!


  1. Sounds like a crazily wonderful month is going down over there. Have fun!

    P.S. you are crazy for doing that class in 3 days. I salute you.

  2. Yes, Pentatonix are awesome! Try listening to The Piano Guys, they're pretty cool too. Wow, The Fangirl Initiative sounds brilliant just from the name (so I'm guessing you've been busy) but hey, finishing an essay in three days? #yougogirl :D

  3. PENTATONIX! I adore them. They are the group that got me into a capella. I'm getting my sister three of their CD's for Christmas :-)

    Good luck with college classes! I'm sure you'll do great with future ones. I did college classes in highschool too and YAY overachievers :-) But you deserve two weeks off after cramming like that. Enjoy the break!

  4. College course that a lot out of you. Especially when you have to do them quickly! Congrats on making it through your first one:)

    Also, a capella bands are awesome! The Pentatonix Christmas stuff is amazing!

    Merry Christmas!


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