Skip to main content


note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

snap back, here we go again

we break just like it ain't nothing
we're riding on a boomerang
our love is like a rubber band
snap back, snap back, here we go again

Note: The song lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with this post or my current life. Except for the "here we go again" part. Which applies, as we are now gearing up for another NaNo.

This post also is very image-heavy; I apologize to those with dial-up or those who are using mobile.

Here we go again, indeed.

I actually considered not doing NaNo this year, but for some reason, I just accidentally started planning for it. Whoopsie. Old habits die hard, apparently.

The reason I almost didn't do it was because of being incredibly writer's blocked. I've hardly been able to write since Camp NaNo--a hundred words there, a thousand words there, but nothing at all consistent. (And, obviously, the blog has suffered. I'm sorry for disappearing, guys.)

I'm not sure if the writer's block is because of feeling inferior in writing (it might very well be), or genuinely being burnt out. I don't know. However, I thought and prayed about it and I felt like maybe running from writing because I feel I'm not good enough would really... not do anything. I felt like God was saying that to keep writing, to get past this writer's block, especially during NaNo when everything that comes out of your fingers is crazed and frenzied, would be the best thing.

So this year, I thiiink I'm doing it. I have about a day to decide. :P I most likely am, but the possibility exists that I'm not.

I don't think I could stay away, though.

This year, I'm writing my novel Petrichor. I don't remember exactly when I came up with this novel--two or three months ago, maybe? Since then, I've been pinning pins and coming up with ideas.

My first character was Astrid.

Her name came about as an inside joke. (Which I'm beginning to realize are PREVALENT in my writing. I should just expect all of them to flavor all my writing in some way, shape or form.)

I'm really excited because she's logical and thoughtful in most of her thought processes, and yet she's incredibly spontaneous and free-spirited.
And a total dreamer.
It's my first time blending these personality qualities, so I'm really excited.

I also have Cobie and Ryker.

This is Cobie. She's a free spirit, like Astrid--except Astrid is a free spirit in a "I'm going to write poems and quietly be free" way. Cobie, on the other hand, is a free spirit in a "I really dON'T care what any of you think so oh well" kind of way.

And then Ryker is her boyfriend. He's quiet, patient, and pretty laid-back, and yet he's simultaneously edgy and absolutely loves motorcycles. I don't have many pictures of him, but I do have one. Excuse the fact that he's practically changing on the windowsill.

There's also this guy. 

He doesn't have a name yet, but he's been abbreviated by my friend Rose to... GQSNB? Gorgeous Quiet Slightly Nerdy Boy, I think. :P Basically he's gorgeous, quiet, and slightly-nerdy. Self-explanatory nickname, right?

So there's a little bit on them. I'm sure you'll hear much more about them in the days to come.

I have a few other character ideas. Like an Adam Levine character (maybe???) that would have the possibility of tying into another novel of mine, and Trev, who was originally in the novel but gave me so many problems, so I'm currently letting him sit out for a bit. Also, Bianca, the retro librarian. We'll see what happens in the next few days and the month of crazy writing I have ahead of me!

novel playlist

Hey Brother - Avicii
Something In the Water - Brooke Fraser
Red Hands - Walk Off the Earth
Smooth Criminal - Glee Cast & 2Cellos

Fourteen is an age far too young to be handed a gun for self-defense, but in Oakridge, Oregon, the stakes are different. When danger roams the streets and crime is at an all time high, you're expected to be prepared.
Five years after her father gave her her first gun, nineteen-year-old Astrid has learned to use it. Though she is prepared at all costs to defend herself, she's a realistic dreamer. She hopes that things could someday be different, though logically she hasn't ever expected that to be true.

 Oakridge has fallen into complacency, but secretly, Astrid longs for something more. So do Cobie, a young, beautiful spitfire; and Ryker, an edgy teen with a penchant for danger and motorcycles and pushing all limits. They're an unlikely pair to be matched with the logical, levelheaded Astrid, but maybe they're just what she need. Together, they are made aware of the spark sleeping in all of them.

 With a handful of others, Astrid and Ryker and Cobie decide it's up to them to purge the crime from the streets of Oakridge and defend their home, as well as wake up the unaware citizens and bring them something more.

 It might just wake all of them up in the process.

>> in summary << 

I'm probably doing NaNo. I have characters and a novel. And I'm   v e r y   excited. If you're doing NaNo and would like to add me, my username is ScarlettGamgee--just be sure to let me know who you are! :) 

So... yeah. Let's do this, guys.  NaNo 2013,   here we come!

Are you doing NaNo? If you are, I'd love to hear more about your novel and characters!


  1. GQSNB, that's the BEST EVER. All your characters seem really cool. As of now: partially in love with all of them ;)

    In regards to the first bit of this post about writer's block and not feeling good enough: it's normal. All the best writers go through that at some point. :) Maureen Johnson did a video that constantly keeps me going:

    Good luck next month!! (AHH ONLY ONE MORE DAY.) I'll be sure to buddy you as soon as the site is back up!

  2. good luck with nanowrimo!
    I was thinking about trying it for the first time this year....but then I chickened out /sheepish grin/ I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines.
    anyways, you should post some snippets!

    xx Riley

  3. SKY!!!! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU POST. I've missed you, girl! I hope you're doing well.

    Goodness, NaNo, I'm totally pumped for it this year! If you do dive into it I hope you have an absolutely magical NaNo. I think you should because this book NEEDS to be written. This is one of the most delightful casts I've ever seen. They need their story to be told!

    This year I'm writing the 4th book of a dragon rider series I've been working on since my first NaNo. I just write each book of it for each NaNo. But I'm quite excited about this year's. I think it's going to be a bit more intense than the previous books, should keep me on my toes for the month!

    I just added you as a buddy on NaNo. I'm Lauriloth there as well.

    NaNo hits at midnight! Soooo excited! Hope you have a beautiful November. ^_^

  4. Nano is amazing. I've never done it, but really admire people who have. It sounds like such a slog, but sometimes the best adventures are like that. Hope it's going well for you!


Post a Comment

Comments make the world go 'round... or was that chocolate?

Thank you for stopping by! I read every single comment and love them all. Seriously, it makes my day. I do my best to comment back!

My only rule is basic respect and honor. Disagreement is accepted, but hate and trolling is not. Otherwise, say what you need to say, and have fun. And don't forget to grab a free complimentary mint on your way out.

Popular Posts