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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

The Day We've All Been Waiting For...

Originally posted on my HSB blog, May 16, 2008, at 5:30 PM

**** This entry contains spoilers about the movie Prince Caspian. I would not recommend reading this before you've seen the movie.****

Today, Prince Caspian officially arrives in theaters!!! (in America, at least.)

I received tickets last month for my birthday. So, earlier today, my brother, dad, and I attended the earliest morning showing of Prince Caspian. I was so excited! Yesterday I was going crazy knowing that around the same time tomorrow, I'd be at the theater!

I slept rather late, so when it was time to go we were pretty rushed. I just had time to put on my cape that my grandma made me for my birthday. It is a beautiful strawberry-red color, and so pretty! It's very Narnian, too. Hopefully I can post pictures soon. Anyway, I loved wearing it to the theater! I felt just like I was Lucy or Susan.

The drive to the theater felt like a long time. But, though I didn't know it then, the wait was definitely worth it.

If I had to pick one word to describe the movie, it would be AWESOME!! Although we were worried about how the movie turned out, I think we really underestimated the production team & Douglas Gresham. They did a wonderful job making everything flow together. It is especially incredible how well they made things work, because of how hard the plot must have been to adapt.

That to say, there were some down sides to the movie. Caspian & Susan do kiss; and there is some rivalry between Peter & Caspian. However, it is not as bad as we made it out to be. The Caspian/Peter rivalry shows how Peter has reacted to coming back to Narnia after hundreds of years. And although I do not particularly like the kiss, it is not *so* bad since it reflects Susan of the way she'll become in the Last Battle. The fact that Susan is the one that initiates the kiss is of some comfort. In the theater it was a bit hard for me to differentiate what was going on, because there are many scenes filmed in the dark.

It was definitely a LOT more intense than LWW. There is a ton of action; it almost never stops. There is also a scene where a hag, a were-wolf, and the White Witch appear, which was a bit frightening. There is a long battle at the end, as well. I would not recommend the movie for younger children.

The characters were quite memorable. I loved Reepicheep, although his voice wasn't *quite* what I would have picked. He was valiant and chivalrous, and funny. Trumpkin, Trufflehunter, Nikabrik, and all the rest were created beautifully. I must say I was mad at Peter more than once because of his pride issue, but overall he still proved to be loyal to Aslan in the end. Susan was more grown up than the last movie. She had a different attitude... she wasn't as cautious as she was in LWW. Edmund was definitely more of a hero in this movie. He came from being a bother to his siblings to helping them. Caspian was well cast; he pulled off the role well, although he was older than he was in the book. Miraz.... Can you say evil?! It's hard to believe that Sergio Castellitto is really a kind-hearted man; he pulled off being a villain so well. Dr. Cornelius was good, but not exactly how I'd pictured him. Queen Prunaprismia was good also, but I wish she'd had had red hair like in the book. And that brings us to Aslan.... He was bigger and better! His eyes showed such compassion and love. When the DVD comes out I am going to make a new template that features Aslan.

The movie has its quirks like all movies do, but Prince Caspian is a wonderful movie that I really enjoyed. I believe it sticks true to the spirit of Narnia and C.S. Lewis's original intentions. I definitely will be seeing this movie again, and I encourage you to see it too.


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