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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

An Answered Prayer

Originally posted on my HSB blog, February 8, 2008

For a long time I have wanted a guitar. I think it originated with a dream I had, and ever since I wanted one. Unfortunately, we aren't able to afford one, or even rent one. For a long time it was just a dream. Until this week...

I was getting ready for bed when Mom asked me how much money I had in my "guitar fund", which was my meager bit of money I was saving. I knew something was up, and I asked why. She said that someone was selling a guitar for $50. I immediately came upstairs, and Dad read the description of it to me (someone had posted it online). It was an accoustic Fender, that came with a soft case, a stand, and an instructional DVD.

I was only $10 short, so Mom & Dad said that I could pay them back. It was too late to call the seller of the guitar, so we sent her an e-mail and then decided to call her in the morning.

Thankfully, we were the first ones who responded, and so we arranged for us to pick it up Thursday, which is yesterday. I am so thrilled to have a guitar now, and have already learned a couple of chords. It did need tuning, but Dad and I figured out how to do that this morning. The only problem is we think the neck might be bent and is causing one of the strings to touch one of the frets and sound weird. We've been keeping it in a room with a humidifier to see if that will help, and if it doesn't we might have it looked at.

I am very thankful for this blessing. God has truly answered my prayers! He is so good.

I was trying to get a picture up but it wasn't working, so I'll try to get one up soon.


Edit: Here are a couple pictures:

My apologies to dial-up users!


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