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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Fandom Friday: A Marvelous Monday

The Fangirl Initiative has started a new link-up titled Fandom Friday! Thanks to this link-up, we get an opportunity to gush about our fandoms every week. This week, we get to gush about our favorite fandoms!

I'm sure it's no secret: my favorite fandom--well, one of them--is Marvel. It's not perfect, but it's still my problematic fave. And hey, no matter how you slice it, I'm a huge fan of superheroes. Whether they're found in the pages of comics, discovered in a movie theater, or located on Netflix in the comfort of my own home, I love them all (well, most of them). 

Especially this guy.
If you asked me to pick a favorite, I'd say Tony Stark. He's been my favorite since I discovered the Marvel Cinematic Universe in 2012. However, in the five years since then, I've discovered so many more. Comic Clint Barton and Kate Bishop. Kamala Khan. The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. characters. Steve and Bucky. Bruce Banner. T'Challa. Peter Parker. Natasha Romanoff. Jessica Jones and Matt Murdock. Sam Wilson. I could go on and on. Every single one of them is so dear to me, and I love them. I'm grateful that I've gotten the chance to know them through fiction. I don't think I'd be the same without each of them or the lessons they've taught me, specifically how to try to be like each of them in my own way. And in addition to that, they've provided me an escape when I've needed it, a reminder that not everything in the world is bad. I have so many thoughts and feelings, but suffice it to say: these heroes are the bomb. (A time bomb, that is. Ayyy. *finger guns*)

And now I'm curious, what's your favorite fandom? G'ahead, go link up with Fandom Friday! You know you want to...


  1. Ooh, fandom Friday sounds fun! I have a few I can think of... Ok, maybe not "just a few". Maybe "just a lot". :P


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