note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
I've felt pretty suck in writing more recently as well. I don't know why, maybe the busyness of life in general. Somehow during this past month I've dived into writing again, and I think it's working. So there's hope, Sky! Just give yourself time, especially if you have a lot of other things to deal with. But when you do figure it out, I'm so ready to hear about these aliens! <333
ReplyDeleteI've had to take breaks from writing for health reasons. I hope you feel better soon!
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I'm in a state of perpetual stuck. :) Something about aliens would be great, though. They freak me out...so obviously it would be a great read.
ReplyDeleteBe patient with yourself and remember that sometimes it's good to take a break. It's hard to force inspiration. Usually it just strikes whenever it wants.
It is totally okay to need a period of mental (and emotional) rest from writing!! There is no need to pressure yourself to do something, especially if it is healthier for you to rest and get yourself in a better place.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like your writer's brain hasn't clicked off, the passion hasn't died, the candle hasn't flickered out...so hold in there. It will be back and when it does, I'm positive it will be back with vigor.
<3
That is hard. Sometimes I can't write and I feel like there must be something wrong with me- How can I be a writer when I can't write? I think all writers have these crises from time to time. But it's okay to take breaks. Hang in there!
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