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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

cake and rain (aka the great gatsby)

i haven't seen the movie yet, but i like this shot.
“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” 
 ― F. Scott Fitzgerald 

It’s raining right now, and rain and books have infamously gone perfectly together, which leads me to say that I started reading The Great Gatsby last night. Three chapters in and I’m already loving it.

His descriptions. He described the celing as a cake. Who does that? And he describes the
stars as a “silver pepper across the sky” (major paraphrase, but hopefully you know what I mean). That’s just beautiful, my gosh.

It’s masterfully written and I can picture it perfectly. I can’t say how much I enjoy being swept away to Staten Island during the roaring twenties, a place with big mansions and lavish parties and hot summers. (Summer is beginning in real life, which makes this book even better.) I don’t think I realized books could be this vivid. Or at least, it's been a long time that I read one as vivid and easy-to-picture as this.

I don’t normally like most classics, but this is one I’m beginning to fall in love with. Have you read it?

P.S. - my copy has a picture of F. Scott Fitzgerald on the back. When I first saw it, I freaked out because it looked so much like Tom Hiddleston. True story. (I see why he played Fitzgerald in Midnight to Paris now! Although, I haven't seen the movie. But Tumblr and gifsets can tell a girl everything.)

“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.” 
 ― F. Scott Fitzgerald


  1. Two years ago, I read it in a day in a half/two days.

    I remember being captivated by it. I feel a re-read coming on...

  2. I want to try this book! I'm terrible with classics brain likes to speed-read and if I do that in classics I miss waaaay too much. Still. Anyone who describes the ceiling as cake is awesome.

  3. Wow. Ceiling as cake? I don't suppose Peeta Mellark did the decorating...?

  4. If you like the book, you will really like the new movie!

    He does kind of look like Tom Hiddleston, doesn't he? lol

  5. Hi MountainFireFlower, Gatsby was really very good, the end kinda threw me however, didn't know it was going to end that way. But very very good, well written. No wonder it's a classic!

  6. I read this book in school, when I was 13, and truth be told, I HATED it. But I re-read it and now I can actually appreciate it, being older (and not forced to read it in school!)
    I SO want to see the movie--I've heard it's really good!
    Following your blog! :)
    Rebecca Danielle Gregoire

    (By the way, I used to follow your blog when I was younger, then stopped blogging, and you're my only blogging friend who's still at it! Which is really cool to see since I'm back at it now with a different blog)


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