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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

the NaNo diaries: week one

So I took some time to put together a "little" vlog for you guys and myself, as a recap of week one of NaNo. Here it is, in all its thirteen-minute glory.

And for those who have asked--YES. Absolutely add me on the NaNo site. My username is ScarlettGamgee. Though if you do add me I may have to ask you who you are if it isn't fairly obvious. :P


:: favorite NaNo memories ::

being nicknamed Gomer Pyle

going crazy in all caps

creating John, a secondary character for a friend. I wish he was real, guys. he's pretty much perfect.

having someone fangirl over Rane. that was pretty dang awesome.

having a good friend tell me she'll send me a box every time I finish a novel. 
whoa, really? that's pretty cool.

writing about rose petals today in one of the most heartbreaking scenes, ever. period. ♥

trying to brush my teeth while writing my novel. true story.

writing. writing. writing.

thinking of my novel. breathing my novel. living my novel. 
living in my own little world when the rest of my world can seem so dark.
using my writing to make sense of the world I live in.
remembering how much writing captures my soul.

it's pretty beautiful.


  1. He's a really...manly way...
    Haahaha, I love it.
    And the BBC RH Sheriff is possibly my favorite villain ever. So I'd probably love yours.

    1. ROFL. That was really awkward and embarrassing, so I'm glad someone got a kick out of it. xD That's pretty much me in real life. :P

      Yes! You most likely would. I personally really like my villain. He's awesome. And I really hope you get to read my novel someday! :) ♥


    I was literally holding my breath until you mentioned him. And then, I had to refrain myself from making loud fangirl noises, as my whole family is asleep. :}

  3. Ehehehehe, I want to meet this Rane of yours to see if I can join the fangirl parade!

    Glad you're having fun on NaNo - I'm off to buddy you, if I haven't already! I'm spookofnight *grins*

  4. 1. You did an awesome job with this vlog Sky! I can't wait for your next one. ;)
    2. Rane has another fan girl
    3. Robin Hood rocks and I am going to LOVE your villain.
    4. Everytime I come to your blog I drool over how pretty your designs are.

    My best friend always does nano and I'm always like "...I could never do it." xD I LOVE WRITING FOREVER buuuut I'm horrible at writing under pressure. I think. Baha
    Prayers that you feel better, girl!
    && Have fun writing!!

  6. So, I started reading your blog a couple of months ago after a random Google search led me here. (some times I like it when the internet doesn't give me what I'm actually looking for.)It's pretty awesome, so I've been checking it frequently ever since then.
    Fast forward to October when I thought about finally getting on the NaNo train but then decided not to. Two day's before NaNo started I saw the Vlog you did with Georgie (who incidentally reminds me of the main character in Revolution) Anyway, watched the video, decided I wanted to do NaNo after all, and signed up on the 30th of October without any idea of what I was going to write about. So, thank's for being awesome and just remember to keep using your blogging powers for good, and not for evil.


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