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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

My Brain Says No... My Heart Says Yes

disclaimer: This blog post was composed by sitting and just typing until the words that came out even remotely resembled a sentence. ;)

^ Do you know what this means?

It means... I am blessed.

I never expected to get to 50 followers. I would see blogs with 50 followers or more, and think, "how did they get that far?"

And now I'm wondering the same thing about myself.

All I can say is, thank you! Thank you all for being so awesome. *HUGS!*

The sky is a really pretty shade of blue right now, and I have a headache. I want to write something epic... something amazing. Like, something about Avary and her epic quest to save the world. The problem with that story is, I'm not sure where to begin. My dad told me, "whatever you do, don't start at the beginning." I'm still trying to figure out how to interpret that...

As far as Avary's story goes, I have half-a-plot and TONS of ideas. I even have 5-10 scenes written. But that's where the inspiration stops. I mean, I know I have half the scenes written, in fact a lot of the major plot points. But as for the in-between, as for actually starting... I have no idea what I'm doing.

Speaking of having no idea what I'm doing, Pip and I are halfway through that crazy thing called Script Frenzy (the thing that also has incapacitated my blog for a little while). We're 56 pages in, and I'm lovin' it so far. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I love it. My mind is filled with sluglines, character dialogue, actions, and how to write the perfect flashback.

And as much as I have talked about writing in this post, I really haven't been writing at all. My main project, Reese's Pieces book 2, is at a stand still, at least for now until I can actually find time to write. *sigh*

I have a bunch of blog post ideas, but I've been modding and writing and living life. Plus, I have been getting over my allergies, and my pain level has been really high this week. Even now I have a headache.

By the time I'm done typing this, the sky is an even deeper, more beautiful shade of blue. I'm looking out at the streetlight, and I am going to eat some chocolate cheesecake. Adios. :D

...Maybe. We have to thaw it out first. Microwave, anyone?


  1. Hey, it's my avie!!
    Congrats on 50 followers. :)

  2. What a great post :) LUCKY, Ara is following you? How cool. :))
    -Jocee <3

  3. Love the outfit, love the post, love the girl. Hugs to my friend! <3

  4. Congratulations Kylie!! That's so exciting.

    Y'know, sometimes the brain-mush phase is actually good for inspiration (for me sometimes), then sometimes is just good for having excuses to act silly. ;)

    Hugs from iGirl

  5. Congrats on the followers!!! It's so crazy to think that people we don't know ACTUALLY follow our blogs.....never fails to amaze me. (:

    I'll keep on praying that you feel better, Kylie. Enjoy that cheescake. ;)


  6. Congratulations on reaching more than 50 followers. And again, congratulations on accomplishing such a goal in the script writing program!

    Cheesecake sounds great...I'm going to go eat my apple though! =)


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