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on the power of showing up

note: I wrote this post in April of 2019 (pre-COVID). It's been sitting in my drafts for quite a while, but I think it's time for it to see the light of day. It's been helpful for me to reread over the past few months, especially as I continue to try to make an effort to write, and I hope it can be helpful to you, too. i got an invite to a writers' group a few months ago, and i had never felt like more of a fraud in my life. it had been months, if not years, since i'd felt like a writer. the proverbial well of words in my heart had dried up, it seemed, and i wasn't sure if it was ever coming back. i agreed to go out of a sense of helplessness—i'd identified as a writer ever since i could remember. if i'm not a writer, who am i?  i told myself that it was important to show up and act like a writer even when i didn't feel like one, because even though i hadn't been writing, i reassured myself, i still was a writer. but sometimes the words f

the end of a decade

Wow. Today is the last day of 2009. It seems like only yesterday I was welcoming in the new year... and now I'm welcoming in a new decade. Life is going by so fast, and it's almost bittersweet to see how much everyone around me is growing up. My younger brother has already passed me up at age 10. My younger sister is looking more and more mature every day.

I've formed some friendships that have lasted a year or more. When I look back it feels like it's been much longer than that, yet I wonder where the time is gone and how it is that I've known them so long.

I know that I myself have changed, although these changes are less obvious. One thing I am happy about is how much closer I feel to God than I did at the end of 2008. My ears are more in tune to His voice, and I'm more excited to learn more about Him and His plan. And I love Him more, if that's even possible.

I don't even know the word to describe what I feel right now about how fast time has gone by. It's not sorrow, but maybe it's... wistfulness? I am very excited to see what this new year will bring however, especially since I can't wait to grow deeper in my relationship with Jesus.

So, on that note, goodbye 2009. Hello 2010!

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